duck breast salad, with pomegranate and hoisin mayo
Updated: Jan 15
The sexiest salad on earth
Food can be erotic and sensuous foreplay.’ I told my straight faced, billionaire client. ‘Especially if it’s low in calories and you can feed each other with your hands.’
We were sitting in his shiny, 50 shades of grey and silver kitchen, with underfloor heating. We were sipping mocha-chinos made by his housekeeper. I had a basket of sexy goodies for his date. The salad was perfect for his sexmission. His expression gave nothing away. He expected a lot in 7 and a half minutes.
His list of wants is below.
Bursts of colour
Unusual tastes and aromas
Finger lickin sharing
I was only a caterer, really, not a sexinstructor
I did note that his Eaton Square apartment overlooked the pristine private tennis court of one of the most costly properties in London. However, the only burst of colour in his home came from a vase of regimented red tulips.
I admired his LED hand-blown lighting system overhead. He told me they were designed by Arik Levy and cost over £1,000. They looked like tiny frozen stars… even so, to my eyes, it was just more grey and white.
He had asked me to source the ingredients for the sharing and the preparation of a salad with his new ultra-skinny, celebrity girlfriend. The housekeeper was given the rest of the day off.
I had suggested Barbary duck with walnuts, pomegranate, salad leaves, with hoisin mayonnaise. I still longed to put more colour and a hint of spice into this guys life.
He told me that he had planned nibbles from The Truffle Shop, at nearby Harrods, for the main course. I nodded, thinking that the seared scallops with truffle potato puree and creamy veloute would fit in with his interior décor.
I pondered if this would put any magic into his date? Did everything he ate and wear have to fit in with this interior colour scheme? I’ve met enough billionaire eccentrics to know it was probably true. I hoped his girlfriend was suitably colour coordinated. I would bet my taxi fare that she had to leave her Jimmy Choos by the front door, so as not to blemish the white wood flooring.
Barbary duck breast, is full of flavour and adds a sweetness to the taste buds. Adding walnuts was because they are known aphrodisiac, and they contain Zinc which gives a jolt to the testosterone. He approved.
I taught him how to deseed a pomegranate in minutes. The fruit originates from the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. He seemed to like the hands on approach.
Before I left, he put a manicured hand on my shoulder and a forefinger to my lips. I froze. He pressed a button on a remote. The black-out blinds hummed and turned the whole room dark and eerie.
He pressed another button. The lighting system over the table flashed grey, white, red and blue light into the interior. It was like watching a thousand shooting stars sparkle in a sunset night sky.
Barbary duck breasts cooked
2 handfuls of mixed salad leaves
1 handful of baby herbs
sprinkle of salt and pepper
Ingredients for the Hoisin mayonnaise
6 tbs mayonnaise
2 tbs hoisin sauce
2 tbs lemon juice
2 tsp red pepper flakes
How to make easy Hoisin Mayonnaise
Add all ingredients to a bowl and mix well.
Cover with lid and refrigerate whilst having an aperitif, to allow flavours to mix.
Putting the sensuous salad together:
Lay the salad leaves in the base of a dish. Grind a smidgen of good quality sea salt and black pepper on the leaves. Chop duck breasts into bite size portions and place on leaves. Lick fingers, wash hands. Sprinkle with pomegranate fruit and the walnuts. Drizzle with hoisin mayonnaise. Flutter the dish with baby herbs and kiss the air.
The best duck is reared in the Loué region of France on farms where animal welfare and the quality of the product are serious issues. There are online butchers who can supply this. Some Waitrose outlets also stock it in the UK. Perfectly suitable for a billionaire and his pampered princess.